Moving To A New Country: Releasing Expectations and Embracing A New Mindset
Photo Credit: ©Effy Talks Life
Have you had moments in life where you felt nothing was going according to plan? Perhaps you’ve had high expectations that ultimately fell through. I’d like to share a time in my life when my failed expectations of moving to a foreign country brought a shifted mindset, and ultimately led to the life I desired.
Picture this: I just graduated from university, and spent every waking moment daydreaming about my soon to be perfect life living in Spain (think Under the Tuscan Sun). I seized any opportunity to share this idea with friends and family, convincing everyone a perfect life was yet to come.
… or so I thought.
When I arrived at the BnB in Castellón, I rang the bell to the apartment... with no response. I knocked, then rang the doorbell again and again, to no avail. I had zero service, and zero idea of what to do. After about an hour, a sweet neighbor helped me get in contact with her. Eventually she let me in.. apparently she had fallen asleep.
The worst has to be over, I thought. After I met my new roommate, we set out to find the perfect apartment. After only a few apartments, we found the perfect one! Our friendly realtor spoke English and even showed us around the city. My Spanish dreams were finally coming true.
Photo Credit: ©Johan Mouchet
The following day I received a message from my realtor. He seemed frantic, while also having the audacity to double the original price of our contract. He began sending aggressive messages blaming us for the discrepancy. After seeing his true colors, I knew I didn’t want to continue business with him. I wasted my time, and no longer had an apartment. I began work in less than a week… how could this be happening to me!?
The next two weeks continued to be stressful. I became very sick, while still having to continue the apartment search. One night, I cried for hours. The next day I sat down with a friend to work through my frustrations. To this day, I’m thankful for this conversation and the new perspective it gave me.
The following weeks, I threw myself into local culture. I did what the locals did and sought out every opportunity to try something new. Every experience let me practice my Spanish, eat delicious tapas, and dance until the sun came up… and this was only the beginning! I eventually found my dream apartment, and it was better than anything I had ever imagined.
I always had a certain idea of how I wanted things to go, and left no room for flexibility. However, just because things were tough didn’t mean I couldn’t appreciate my new, beautiful home. By letting go of these expectations, I could truly experience every new moment with intention and purpose. I let go of the path I thought I was supposed to be on, and allowed my life to take the path that’s meant for me. With this mindset, I’ve continued to build a life here in Spain, pursue a relationship, and now I’m in the process of moving to one of my favorite cities in the world: Madrid! I’m not entirely sure of what the future has in store, but I’m grateful for the lessons I learned. I have never felt more confident in the current trajectory of my life.